Communication Challenges in Special Assignments

/
Communication Challenges in Special Assignments

Communication and connection are a challenge for all of us in law enforcement relationships. There are some extra special challenges when you're on call all the time or you're in situations where you just can't talk due to being in a special assignment such as undercover work or maybe the part of a SWAT team.

Heather Williams, a law enforcement professional, turned police psychologist, and SWAT spouse talks about the unique challenges of special units, their impact on relationships and strategies to communicate and connect.

Read More

Let Family In

/
Let Family In

“I just don't want to burden my spouse with what I experience on the job” is a way of protecting the people that you love. I always thought my husband was open only to find out later that this happened a few times within our relationship. Most of the time an officer's spouse and family sense that something is up. It bleeds over.

 While protecting the family is noble, it is also a way that an officer can avoid talking about difficult things. Our relationships need to involve trust. Officers, trust that your spouse can handle what you are sharing, and as a spouse trust that an officer will navigate that line between sharing and traumatizing. This week, law enforcement couple Brett and Danielle Koss joined me to discuss developing a reciprocal relationship of trust and understanding.

Read More

Communicating Directly in Your Law Enforcement Relationship

/
Communicating Directly in Your Law Enforcement Relationship

The Hardest Easiest Way to Communicate

People avoid being direct in their communication. We try to “softball” what we are saying, talking in circles, over explain, and justify. What we really need is to be direct. In my law enforcement relationship, my officer many times just wants me to “just get to the point”. There are times when I really want to tell a story and we can set a time to do that. Then there are times I just need to be direct with my communication. Communication can be simple but communicating directing but it seems so hard to do.

Read More

Impact Communication in your Law Enforcement Relationship with Perspective Taking

/
Impact Communication in your Law Enforcement Relationship with Perspective Taking

Understanding each other’s world is really important, especially in a law enforcement relationship, police marriage, or first responder relationship. Without it, there can be a lot of conflict. If you are wondering what a woman in combat boots has to do with this post, keep reading.

Stand in Each Other’s Shoes!

A friend of mine, Ernesto, who owns fylmit.com, was filming a promotional video for the Code4Couples website. We went to the police department and he wanted to capture what he calls a B-Roll video. It is a background video of images you see while the narrative is going on. Ernesto wanted to capture several elements of Law Enforcement and the officers went crazy with him. They put several types of vests on

Read More

The Divorce Myth in Law Enforcement

/
The Divorce Myth in Law Enforcement

Let’s talk about the biggest myth out there in law enforcement families. The divorce myth. It’s the idea that there is a higher rate of divorce among law enforcement officers than any other profession.


Law Enforcement and Divorce

One reason I started Code4Couples® was because my husband and I were seeing marriages split up. I thought there must be an underlying reason why this happens in the law enforcement community. I was also struggling in my relationship with dealing with emotions and I hit a wall with support. As a counselor and therapist, I figured out that I was missing something, and I wanted to help officers and spouses thrive in this field.

One of the first things I wanted to research was the divorce rates among first responders to see how much of the myth was true.

Read More